


I Can Take a Few Tears Now and Then [and just let them out]

by HansoldMySoul



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: And Wonho who comes to save the day, Depressed Kihyun, Idol Verse, M/M, Sadness and blanket burritos, Shirtless, Wonki, a little bit sad, because why not?, dance fic, kiho, what even is their ship name?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-23 19:30:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7476951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HansoldMySoul/pseuds/HansoldMySoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As if it wasn't enough to feel like he wasn't good enough... </p><p>Kihyun breaks a little more each time thinks about the members that he's letting down because they don't deserve to have their dreams crushed because is never going to be able to do it. </p><p>Hoseok watches the yonger boy struggle to hold himself together with murmered reassurances and transparent lies but he's not about to let Kihyun destroy himself over a problem that only he can see. </p><p>And everyone knows because a team is only a team when all of the parts are working correctly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can Take a Few Tears Now and Then [and just let them out]

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a sucker for this pairing and sad stories and so this little plot bunny was born! Enjoy!

-He wants to smile but he feels as through his mask will finally crack and everyone will see the mess that he's become.-

Even in the heat of that moment, with nothing but adrenaline running through his veins and his shirt and hair plastered to his skin with sweat, the mocking doesn't stop. 

He's alone. He knows as much because he'd specifically stayed behind when the others left to go back to the dorm, whispering reassurances that he was okay, because really, what was one more lie to add onto the depthless list? One more fake smile that made his face feel heavy and foreign but it was okay because they believed it and that was all that mattered.

But even with no-one there, he doesn't have to look up to see a thousand taunting faces reflected in the chrystaline glass of the mirrored walls. They're always there, all too willing to repeat his every fault, new ones joining the fray every time he let's himself get tired enough to tune into the fray.

It's an absurd thought (aren't they all? A tiny voice whispers in his head) but with every squeak of his well worn trainers against the linoleum it feels as though the mirrors are pressing in on him, his breath being stolen by harsh whispers and accusing stares. (He refuses to discern the familiar faces that he would see staring at him with disgust if he let himself see them.)

Keep moving, be guided by the beat, be better. It played as a mantra inside his head but somehow seemed to echo from every corner of the hollow room. He kept moving, hoping that exhaustion would block out the voices but even as he was finally greeted by sweet blackness, his eyes met the accusational stare of the one person he wished he didn't have to disappoint. 

There was no reprieve in unconsciousness with the word 'Sorry' painted on his lips. 

¤

-He wishes he could take away the pain because every tear drop threatens to extinguish the once bright fire within him. Please don't let it die.-

He thinks he's so smart with his trembling shoulders and transparent reassurances, so cunning to hide the obvious limp and wave off his pain with watery smiles. Wingo wishes that he'd feel comfortable enough to tell them the truth but he doesn't mention it because those eyes, so dull and lifeless, beg him not to. 

Everyone notices that Kihyun's fallen behind during the dance practices and he spends way more time than necessary in the practice rooms, claiming that he needs to nail his singing parts but none of them ever hear any sound from within. 

Day after day he stays later than everyone else and doesn't return to the dorm until they're all asleep (in some cases they wonder if he ever returned at all.) but they don't ask because it looks like he's been crying and they're afraid that he'll break. 

Today when they all leave, Wonho lingers in the hall, determined that it would be the day he'd finally talk to him. He holds back, knees pulled up to his chest and listens to the heavy bass of the sound system, figuring that he'd wait until the younger was finished practicing.

He thinks about a lot of things as he waits. What happened to the fiery boy that he'd known for years. When exactly did the fire in his eyes start to dim and why didn't he notice then. When did Kihyun stop talking to him? He did the small vocalist stop talking to everyone. 

When did he give up? Why did he? 

They were all answers that he didn't have and it hurt.

He almost doesn't hear it over the music (why must it be so loud?), the hollow thud that sends a rush of cold dread through his body at the possibilities of what it might be. He thanks who ever is listening that he was nearby and hadn't gone back to the dorm with everyone else because heaven knows what would have happened if he hadn't been there. 

The sight that meets him when he reaches the door of the room takes away his ability to breath and he stands, unmoving in horror for a few moments before the adrenaline kicks in. 

Kihyun lays, unmoving in the center of the room and for a frightening moment, Wonho is forced to wonder whether he's breathing or not.

He rushes inside, dropping to his knees beside his friends prone form and breaths a sigh of relief when he sees the rise and fall of his chest (maybe it's slightly faster than it should be but he's focusing on other things now.) From that point onwards, it feels as though he works on autopilot, removing his shirt to wipe away some of the sweat that matted his hair to his forehead and pressing his own hand there to check his temperature (he's way too hot.)

He doesn't really think when he calls Hyunwoo, breath short as he stumbles over his words in a brief explanation of the situation but he registers that the older will be here soon and that he should sit tight. 

So he does. 

In the time it takes, Wonho stares into space and asks all of the questions that he hadn't thought to ask before. He doesn't get an answer of course, but he thinks (or maybe it's hope) that if Kihyun can hear him right now then it may bring him some comfort. 

He moves to the side when Hyunwoo arrives, Hyungwon following behind him with brisk steps and is thankful that they don't ask him anymore questions that he doesn't have the answer to.

Kihyun is hoisted into Hyunwoo's arms (Wonho doesn't know but he thinks that the younger looks way too light) and they move out to his car. 

Many reassurances are made during the drive about how everything will be okay but the somber mood relays that nobody is really feeling it (reminded of the fake reassurances of a small redhead.) It's nobodies fault and yet they all blame themselves.

Countless times Kihyun said he was okay. One time (or maybe all) he wasn't.

•

Hey guys! This is just part one, there will be a lot more dialogue in part two once Kihyun is actually awake but this was the angsty part. 

I'm sorry if it seems repetitive or confusing, I was trying to write it as though the person wasn't quite sure what was going on themselves which makes it seems a bit messy. 

Yes, I'm a sucker for sad stories and also Kihyun so this story was born.

I hope you enjoy(?) it~

-HansoldMS


End file.
